You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
