Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Randomize
