tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize