if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
