Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
is it fun? or sober?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
