sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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