no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
