my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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