just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
