Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
