Screwed.edu
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
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