Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
