As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
