My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
After tacos, we're chasing women.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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