..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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