watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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