If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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