Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
