We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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