So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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