if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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