We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
send nudes
from the living room?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
