Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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