sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Randomize
