I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
time to smoke my breakfast
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
