Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
honey bunches of taint.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
