im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
it glows. i had to have it.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
i think im in europe. pls send help
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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