I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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