LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
