you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
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