You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
