he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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