my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
