why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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