I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
