better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
