I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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