Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
