dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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