It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Ladies don't puke and tell
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
