shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
