Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
