he wants to bone in the snuggie
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
