I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
God gave him joint rollers for hands
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
