I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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