For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Sober January is a disaster.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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