Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
How naked do you want me to be?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize