Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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