But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize