it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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