Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
