I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
