a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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