If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
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