I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
