I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
