conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
