yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
