youre lurking in front of me
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
