"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
