You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
