So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize