Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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