I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
