i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
