dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
